I Have So Much Lust For…

on my way home tonight, after a long day at work away from home and my crazy hot husband, i had this mad, burning need that i knew could only be quenched in one way. it was so all powering, it made my palms sweat and my pupils dilate. every cell in my body was awake, like i had discovered another realm of existence where pleasure was the only currency.

i had to have a BK veggie burger. extra pickles. slice of cheese. oooohhhh.

this is how it’s been lately. food is my absolute #1 priority. at any given moment, i can tell you what i want and what i’d be willing to do for it (or more accurately, the list of what i wouldn’t do for it might be shorter). i sing girl scout cookie praises across the mountain tops. i whisper love poetry to the chickenless chicken noodle soup or baconless BLT’s. i croon for the chocolate peanut butter we just bought. on a piece of toast, an apple, a spoon, some asphalt…

i wish i felt even 1/100 this interest in sex right now. i just can’t. i think all the blood is being shunted away from my lady bits toward my mouth. sorry, babe.

now pass the gravy.

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