There Is Shit Coming Out of My Nipples (TMI Alert…Too Late, I Guess…Heh)

so i, uh, have this, umm, friend…who was recently getting jiggy wit’ her husband. we’ll call him “nobb.”

and, they were, you know, sharing a moment, and suddenly (she claims), THERE WERE DROPS OF THICK WHITE STUFF around them. and they. were not. his.

“nobb” just kind of rolled with it, didn’t seem to stress him out too much, but my friend, she lost it. she swore plentifully and sort of rocked back and forth chanting “this is so messed (did not use the word “messed”) up. nothing’s ever come out of there before. this is so messed (again, a different word was used) up.” and she vowed that she will never take her shirt off again. ever.

i am…i mean, she is hoping that this colostrum sighting bodes well for her future success in nursing…that there is now some evidence that both tats are working to achieve their biological function. but, psychologically, i am worried for my friend. i mean, if a few drops practically did her in, she is in for a world of hurt when these puppies are in full dairy farm mode.

good God.

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