in a week and a half i go back to work. and i’m starting to dread it. not that i don’t like what i do or love the people i work with. and not that i have changed my mind about working while mommy-ing. but i really like tiny heiny and i like spending every day with him. he’s sleepy in the evenings/at night (which is awesome, really), so it means that i won’t get much awake time with him after work and will have to rely entirely on the weekends.
and i go to a movie and out to dinner with my friends and i’m desperate to get home to him after just a few hours…so i know a full 9 hrs away is going to be hard. not for his sake, but for mine. ok, a little for his. i do think that i have his nuances down pretty well at this point and even if i’m still just the big lady who smells like milk to him, at least i know how to make him comfortable and quiet. i know what his sounds mean, where his ticklish spots are (everywhere. but shhh. don’t tell) and what songs he likes most.
i know he’ll be in great hands when i’m away at work, they’re just not mine.
i feel so blessed to have had this time with him. i keep reflecting that when i did an internship at a head start program for migrant farm worker families we took children as young as 2 WEEKS OLD! 14 days old and their moms had to go back out to the fields to get back to work. geez.
so, all is in perspective as it should be, i am incredibly blessed to have this time and it has been magical. and i’ve given up on the idea of trying to take henry with me to work. i had envisioned tiny scrubs and mask, itty bitty surgical cap and booties and a sling so that i could scrub and wear him on my belly while i worked. i mean, he was there when i was pregnant, bellied up to the table, it would be almost the same. he’s just a little louder now.