my grandfather’s funeral was this weekend and it was emotional, of course. not only for his loss but also with all the old family pictures floating around of my aunts and uncles and my sister who passed away. some i never met (and wish i had) but i know their deaths left holes in the lives of others and some i miss desperately and wish very much that they knew my little hank.
what a blessing it is having this little pile of joy. how much healing we all get from tiny arms wrapped around our necks and big toothless smiles thrown our way.
i reflected that, unfortunately, most of the funerals i’ve been to in my life were those of young people. my sister was 10 when she died and i’ve mourned the deaths of several teenagers and young parents. not that any death is easy to understand and cope with, but a life like my grandpa’s that was long and lived fully with potential realized and accomplishments logged is easier to see come to a close than those cut so short, i think.
i’ve wallowed in loss a lot over the last while. i thank God every day that He pulled me through the last few years and kept me intact enough to still be able to experience this joy and wonder at henry’s new life. and i thank God for this perfect, amazing, healthy little boy. it is overwhelming how blessed we are.
it does make me wonder about the ‘circle of life’ and regeneration. henry’s social security number is a lower number than mine which we take to mean it is recycled from someone who has passed before him. is there any truth to the ‘recycling’ of souls? hard to say. robb allegedly described having been a grandfather when he was age 2 and old enough to talk. who knows….
sometimes it is totally believable that, although he can’t talk to us, he understands everything that is going on.
and he is not amused.