things are going….well, slowly.
the goal, originally, was to nurse him for a year, if able. and we made it! and i’m thrilled.
but i’m also not feeling a lot of urgency to stop any time soon. he’s down to 3 milk feedings/day (nursing first thing in the morning and one bottle at school and nursing again before bed). but i’m still pumping 4 additional times/day…that’s the part that’s getting old. i’m freezing the left-over so that when i do stop, we’ll have some reserve.
and i’m kind of hanging on until we fly to seattle in a couple weeks because i want to have the ability to soothe him (shut him up) on the airplane if he’s screaming and the passengers are considering tossing him out one of the tiny windows.
and he is showing less interest than he used to. he nurses for less time and sometimes not at all. but other times it really seems to give him some peace. he doesn’t really need it for nutrition any more- he’s eating lots of good foods. but it’s still good for immune system function and vitamins and all that…which is why i want to have a little available frozen to give him daily once we’re done.
but the BIGGEST reason i’m still nursing, if i’m being totally honest, is for me. i will miss the closeness. the snuggling. he’s so rarely still anymore, nursing is one of the only times he just cuddles. and i think i’m worried that the thing that makes me so important to him, what is MOM about me to him, is that i smell like milk and can offer him that comfort and food. what if he doesn’t need me as much when we’re done? what if he no longer likes me most? 🙂
i believe this is one of the first natural steps toward independence that parents struggle with and are relieved by, both. and it might certainly be good for robb if henry doesn’t need me as much as he does now. and the time it will free up! not having to always be aware of my next pumping/feeding! the real bras i can wear! all the boozes i can haves! there are positives, too.
i’m just more emotional about it than i thought i would be.
now it’s just a matter of figuring out how to do it, and doing it. day by day…