Mom Body or Sad Saggy Bastard Anthem

overall, i’ve felt pretty good about my post-baby body. it took me almost a year after he hatched, but i did lose all the weight and i fit in my correct size jeans and all that.

when i suck in, i’m hot-ish.

but every once in a while my rose-colored glasses fall off and i’m reminded that it will never be the same.

witness last night when i was doing a really intense yoga class. i felt flexible and lean the whole time, was almost thinking ‘i could be one of those girls with big enough balls to wear just a sports bra on top. yea.’ until we did a head stand. then i was on my nogginn, looking up the distance of my body. but i didn’t get very far. just above me was the cascading white doughy flesh of my belly as it tumbled down toward my face. there was no amount of sucking in that would fix that view. and no amount of therapy that can erase its memory. gravity is the debil.

and while we’re on the subject of cascading parts- ‘dem boobs. oy. a good bra can bring them back up to approximately where they ought to be, but without one- weak sauce. can you picture a drawing of Snoopy? yea, like that. and i still feel weird about them. they still sort of ‘react’ when henry cries. nothing dripping, but certainly on the alert. so using them for their non-baby intended purposes (bow chica) just feels awkward.

all that being said, i still overall feel pretty lucky. i’m healthy, i’m fit, i have a normal BMI, (and i even got away without too many stretch marks). and i have a healthy, wonderful kid to show for it.


now excuse me whilst i go do 1000 sit-ups and spend an hour in a tanning bed. 🙂

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