Don’t Read This- It’s Too Gross

most of the time, i’m worried about how my parenting will, inadvertently, forever traumatize my child. i mean, clearly, i will miss something, and he’ll end up in expensive therapy.

but tonight, it was we who were traumatized. (us? we? i’m sticking with ‘we’ because wee is part of this tale).
first- diarrhea at swim class. i mean SO much buttsplosion. gracias a dios none made it to the pool, but a new swimsuit was purchased stat. no one there will ever be the same. they’ll remember where they were when…
then in the bath, even though he SAID he was “keeping my pee in my penis” i saw ribbons of proof that he was lying.
and then there was this whole twisted negotiation about a lollipop that started this pcp-like reaction and a 30 min hulk breakdown.
hoping the runs won’t last & the monstering was exhaustion.
either way, henry is cozily sleeping now & robb & i are weeping into a pile of chocolate.

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