Patient Zero Wears Batman Shoes

the other day, i took anna into henry’s classroom at daycare to go pick him up. i set her carrier down on the floor to gather him and his mountains of stuff and, from out of absolutely nowhere, this tiny mob of toddler boys came fast-zombie moving toward her. it was cute, kind of, at first, as they chanted BABY, BABY and got right up in her face with curious glee.

cute right up until the one little floppy-blond haired ghoul who’d made it the furthest into the carrier with her, pulled his head back out and i saw rivers of green snot flowing chin-bound from both nostrils.

i don’t remember exactly what i did, but i think i grabbed henry like a football and tossed both him and anna’s carrier toward the door, shouting that they should RUN FOR YOUR LIVES! which was unpossible, seeing that she was strapped in and he got distracted in the hallway by a spiderman umbrella hanging on a hook 3′ from where he started.


now? cough. sneeze. snot. sore throat.

little blond bastard. i’ll be quicker next time.

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