henry keeps reminding me that ‘rest is best’ when i’ve been coughing and snotting all over myself this week.
he learned that ‘rest is best’ from the show ‘daniel tiger,’ which is a PBS animated mr. rogers knock-off. the show annoys the living piss out of me for some reason, but henry really likes it. and, in addition to keeping that phrase in his brain box, he also remembered ‘grown-ups come back’ when he was missing robb and me one day at daycare and repeating it to himself gave him some comfort. so we’ll keep watching the stupid show.
anyway, i’ve been thinking a lot about rest lately.
i’m not great at it. when i came down with this cold, i got all pissy. i mean, i eat well, i take vitamins, i exercise-ish, and yet i’ve had something like 2,000 sinus infections this past year. i sent robb an annoyed text, “why am i always sick??!” and he responded without missing a beat, ‘because you don’t sleep.’
oh. huh. there is that.
it’s true. i pack a lot in. i kind of think naps are for the weak and anything more than 6 hrs of sleep/night is a waste of perfectly good get-‘er-done time. moving at a breakneck pace is how i accomplish things, how i feel valuable and worthwhile. i think it’s also a bit of a spinning plates gag, to keep me from sitting quietly with myself and getting lost inside my head. i worry what idle time might do to me.
but over the last 3 months at home, snowed in inside our little nest, i’ve grown to really love not doing anything. just being quiet and relaxed with my wee ones. scratching away at projects around the house, but having no major chores that need my attention immediately. talking to God, meditating on things. having long, relaxing conversations. watching movies in the middle of the day. it’s been very peaceful and rejuvenating.
i feel calm and collected and happy. clear-headed. i’ve been able to do things i enjoy like cook and read and write and reach out to friends i’ve been neglecting for ages. it’s been very satisfying.
my plan is to continue this zen attitude as i return to work full-time on monday. and to try to squeeze in as many moments or peace and activities of solitude as possible.
we shall see.