Daddy, Am I Being Good?

so, henry has been maturing a lot lately and it’s profound and wonderful and sometimes frustrating.

his language is kind of insane. the words and combination of words he comes up with absolutely blow our minds. his assessment of the world and ability to articulate about it is thrilling. he has a lot of questions. he talks a lot. a LOT a lot. constantly.

it’s crazy to see him as a real person. especially when i look at his little face and can clearly bring back the face that was his when he was a baby. anna’s cheeks and his old cheeks blend in my mind but now his strong little self-assured jaw has broken out of that soft fluffy mold and he looks tight and bright and smart and like a kid. not a baby.

he’s also putting his pee and poop in the toilet most of the time now. thank you God it appears to be working. one day he wouldn’t and the next he would, and that’s all there was to it. it’s still a work in progress, but he’s doing awesome. he expects a toy reward every time he takes a deuce, which is getting expensive, but eh. whatever it takes to not have to put my hands near the stuff anymore.

and his conscience is forming. it is pretty wild to have a hand in someone’s developent of their goodness. teaching him to be wise and kind and gentle and deliberate and to have a strong sense of self but also to be obedient and polite and respectful and….whew!

i overheard robb and him talking the other day and henry said ‘daddy, am i being good?’ i’m assuming that robb had told him that if he was ‘good’ he could do ____ or have ____ and he was checking in on his progress toward goal. and sometimes he damn well DOES know what’s good or bad and which side he’s falling on.

…but the question got me thinking. he’s still learning what we mean by ‘good.’ he really might not know if he’s being good. it’s our job to keep directing him toward good. day by day. one moment at a time, we’re filling his knowledge bank with what it means to be good. it’s exciting and fulfilling to be part of seeing this cool little person grow into a cool little man.

i really hope we don’t blow it. i hope we’re ‘good’ enough.

we’ll keep working on our end, too.

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