i hate lists and i don’t much like self-help literature. i especiallyhate lists about self-help.

1. be old & wise earlier- people say they figure out how to be calmer & happier as they age. they start addressing their bucket list and not caring so much what people thing of them (fart in public/say what’s on their minds). let’s do that now. most especially the farting in public part.
2. fewer selfies & more otheries- getting over yourself and out of your head and putting all that energy toward other people feels great and serves the world and gets more accomplished. this is a hard one. let’s check on each other’s progress now and then.

3. don’t be anyone else’s hassle. just don’t. take care of your ownself like the big kid you are. (‘sack up’)
4. never be embarrassed by how you laugh. laughing is cheaper than vitamins.

5. eat proudly. food is a joy and we should be grateful and enthusiastic in its consumption. but, you know, you just get the one body, so put the right food in it. you’re a big kid, you know how to do that.
6. and then fucking get over your body issues. it’s not cancer. it’s weird toes or curly hair or juicier hips than you want. meh. in a few decades you’ll look back at pics of yourself now and think you looked fabulous. (and if it IS cancer- brave on! and please share with us the wisdom you’ve gained).

7. sharpen your wit but not your tongue
8. seriously. be kind.
9. you can’t always control things, but you can control your reaction to them. ie: when life shits in your cereal, pour the whole mess over your gladiolus. 
10. attempt to stay ahead of your own head garbage so it never backs up on you and you have to take a break out of a life of helping others to help yourself. HARD to do. we’ll start trying together now.
11. but if you need it, take a break to help yourself because you’re no good to anyone as a broken you. 

12. BUT a previously broken, now healed/healing you can be VERY good for others. share the wealth of your lessons. your scars might help others heal. or at least make them feel less alone.

13. it’s not all about you. BUT you do matter. a lot.

i’ll stop there for now. i hear 13 is lucky. please share if you have some of your own!

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