Managing the Deuce

i can’t embed stuff on my ipad, so you’ll just have to click on that link there your ownself. it’s worth the extra effort. it’s anna snarfing down some creamed kale. kid don’t mess around. she’s feeding herself. like a beast. 
she’s also pulling herself forward with her giant strong upper body. BEAST. 
anyway. i’ve been telling people since i had anna how much easier baby #2 is. and it’s true. but i’ve been reflecting about why and i’ve decided…it’s not really because you know you didn’t break the first one and so you feel calmer/less likely to break this one. it’s not that you know how all the stuff works and can swaddle and mash bananas into avocado in your sleep with both hands busy playing with LEGOs and your eyes closed while breast feeding. 
it’s because your life is already a crazy freaking goat rodeo after the first one and so, eh, what’s another goat?
at least for me. i mean, i already didn’t really sleep. for example, my darling 3 year old child woke up 3 times last night. and the baby woke up twice. i mean, what’s the diff, right? (when i was putting henry to bed the first time, he said, ‘GUESS WHAT, MOMMY? I LOVE YOU LOTS’ and so….at 2am when he said, ‘SNUGGLE WITH ME’ it was still ringing in my ears, and so i said, ummm, yeah. ok). 
also, your house is already a mess. i mean, there’s sticky, sometimes sharp, mostly colorful shit everywhere. it is what it is. that was a new crush of stuff the first time, this time it’s already there. you’re already tripping on everything and stepping in uncertain substances in the dark. 
and your time and energy is already dedicated to making your small person happy, so small ‘people’ is about the same. you already sleep through movies you really wanted to watch b/c you didn’t have time to start it until 11pm after all the kids stuff was done…you already have given up all pretense toward exercise and hobbies because you just kind of want to stare at his eyelashes a little more or read ONE more book….
so, you’re already a parent. you just get to do it again. and it’s fine. it’s great, actually. because it’s so much less dramatic/traumatic than the first time around. 
and you really are better at it. you’ve learned how to laugh. 

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