The Over Under on Falling Over and Hiding Under a Desk

there’s this old saturday night live sketch where they’re on the campaign trail for some democratic presidential candidate and bill clinton shows up and puts the crowd into a frenzy just by sticking his arm onto stage and giving a thumbs up. the other candidate is despondent because he will never be as popular as clinton or as able to win over the people.

that’s how it is here right now. anna is the throngs of democrats and i am bill clinton. robb is some poor schlub in a suit with a banner behind him with his name in big letters, but anna remains unimpressed and longing for the clinton years.

in other words, she’s in the mommy phase right now. i remember it keenly with henry. i’m probably less flattered and robb less disappointed by it this time, since we knew to expect it, know that it passes, and acknowledge that it has mostly to do with the fact that i smell like breast milk. (i do not think that was bill clinton’s charisma-making attribute, but i never met him so it could have been).

and sleep is still something we don’t get a lot of as bananacakes still wakes to nurse often during the night. and her bed is next to ours, because of current house issues. so, after having half slept all night with a little nursling pressed up against me (it’s really cute. i can’t lie. she’s crazy adorable. but still. bad for sleep), when i wake up super early for work, often so does she and then mornings get stressful. grumble.

so we’re all a little under slept and a little over crabby.

we’re also in a phase that i remember all too well from last time where both robb and i feel overly burdened and underly helped. like DIDN’T I JUST DO THAT? HOW IS IT NOT YOUR TURN? about everything. the little incidental annoyances are accumulating and we’re sniping at each other. trying to remember the million reasons why we work and we love each other and we’re worth the hassle to each other. but sometimes we’re just glad that the generalized fatigue makes it impossible for us to plan and carry out a spouse murder. what is that called? isn’t there a word for that?

it’s ‘mariticide.’ no joke. that’s what it is. i found it on the wikipedia page “Lists of types of killings.”

so i’m definitely not being followed by the FBI now. (hi, guys! (and gals. i like your sensible shoes)).

anyway. phases are just that because they don’t last. all mostly is well and, certainly, WILL be well soon.


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