A (Late, of Course) Mothers’ Day Poem from Your Toddler/Infant

Mommy, Mommy, Mommy, Mooooommmmmy, 
Daddy already got you smelly bath stuff, candy or jewelry, 
But we both know none of that stuff was really from me. 
He says we have to be quiet and let you sleep in today,  
Something about hasn’t slept in 3 years, and episiotomy? 
My gift from the heart would be abrupter and grosser, 
Like a nice used tissue, a mystery sopping wet pant-leg or a new paperless wall poster!
You are pretty and funny when you make all those faces.
Especially when I hide to poop in creative new places!
You know I love you because I remind you when you forget, 
to hurry up and get me my snack. Chop, chop, be quick.
I think that you’re brilliant, I ask you all my questions all day long, 
But your judgement about when I need to sleep is all wrong. 
That’s OK, we can’t all be perfect. 
But try harder. 
And seriously, with the snack. It’s just an apple. Hurry up. 
I would also settle for candy. 

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