What if I don’t make time to read the “400 ways to make your kid feel like a winner, that you can do between dinner and bedtime TONIGHT.”
Shit. They’re going to sleep losers! What if I just keep sitting here and wasting these precious moments, but I promise to whisper affirmations in their ear holes after they’re asleep, when I have time? I’ll assume the article says that’s just as good. I didn’t get that far.
Oh, look, “30 ways to make your pasta noodles more noodle-y.” Great. They were letting me down.
“6 Earth Day cranberry spritzers you can’t live without.” My whole wasted life behind me.
Alright. We all need to calm down. I’ll plug in when I want to, and out when I want to. I read the title of an article the other day that said something like,”Meh Children Are Fine, or Whatever.” So that’s my new parenting philosophy. I’m not going to push too hard and make everyone crazy. Or maybe it was “Don’t Try Too Hard, You’ll Screw Up Anyway.” I don’t know. There were pop-ups. I didn’t get very far.
This camel family gets it. I bet those parents don’t read shit.