Update on the Children

I’ve been writing about feminist issues a lot lately.

Here’s a little break to catch up on my kids.


  1. Henry lost his 2nd front tooth, so now he sound like Gopher from Winnie the Pooh
  2. His Parent-Teacher conferences went well, but for some reason, the teacher wasn’t like, “Look at this spectacular, perfect human being you made! Everything he does is super cute!” which, frankly, surprised us. He’s reading like a champ, but he’s lost 3 pairs of mittens already this year and glued the blades of some scissors together recently in class, so his success is a bit of a wash.
  3. Henry got really afraid of Slappy, the ventriloquist dummy, from Goosebumps, when he saw a bit of the movie. He’s a sensitive soul and his creative mind tends to linger on things. In other news, his parents are reading to him out of the illustrated Harry Potter books, because they are huge HP freaks and cannot wait to a more appropriate age to share this book about a psychopathic snake man trying to murder a child. Everything is fine. Nothing to see here. He sleeps in our bed a lot.
  4. Anna keeps claiming she has wiggly teeth of her own, but it is a damn lie.
  5. She invents games, and instructs us on how to play them. She always starts by clapping her hands, and saying, ‘OK. LISTEN, GUYS.’
  6. She is also doing well in preschool. She keeps us up to date on the latest preschool and pre-K gossip. There is a lot. No one can believe how well, or how much, she talks. It is a lot.
  7. She is trying to read. She lets us read to her sometimes, too, and likes listening to audio books in the car. She starts every book she opens with “THIS IS THE STORY OF_________. YOU CAN FOLLOW ALONG WITH ME IN YOUR BOOK. YOU WILL TURN THE PAGE, WHEN YOU HEAR THE BEEP…BEEP.’
  8. She’s had a wee cold recently. Last night, I absentmindedly kissed her hand and she started giggling manically. “What’s wrong, Anna? Why are you laughing? What was on your hand?” ‘HAHAHAHA I HAD SO MANY BOOGERS IN MY HAND. I HAD A COLLECTION.’
  9. Update on me- I will never stop washing my lips.


That pretty much catches you up.

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