I turned 39 yesterday. I’ve been giving this 40th year of life “me project” a lot of thought.
I’ve decided to aggressively care for myself. As if I’m worth it. Like, instead of indulging myself or letting myself hide from the things I ought to be, I’m going to helicopter-parent and tiger mom the shit out of myself, in a move toward self-discovery, self-love, and self-improvement.
I’m starting with self-discipline: no alcohol, way less sugar, daily movement, better health maintenance, drinking the right amount of water, REST, and committing to artistic pursuits daily (writing/reading). I’ll talk about why I chose those specific things as we go.
I don’t know where else this will lead me (crystals and shit?). I also don’t know if this journey (gag, hate that word- let’s call it a….sojourn? No….project? Fine, that’s a little better)…I don’t know if this project is something that anyone else will be interested in, but I know I’ll stay more motivated and accountable with an audience, so I am also committing to post nearly daily about it. Some of you have expressed interest, so now you’re IN THIS FOR LIFE. Hope you meant it. Catch me (whining) here, diary-style. There’s also the Facebook page I have dedicated to this blog, heya, and a new Instagram account, heya. I tweet as myself, heya.
Spending this much time talking about myself and working on myself is already making me squirm because it seems self-focused and egomaniacal, and like I don’t deserve this much time and attention. Like I’m the last person who deserves/needs self-care when my life is a cush as hell. HOWEVER, I’m what I’ve got, and I’ll serve my people and the general world better if I’m as good a version of me as I can be, so…I intend to do this without apologies, and with courage. This is tripping a bunch of my flinch flags, also, in that I’m a server, a giver, a busy do-er with concrete lists that I’ve to-done, so the vague notion of self-care and creation is tricky. I’m confident that I’ll figure it out as I go. Also, I know there are a few locked doors inside of me, held secure by shame, and I’m going to try to break into them. This is going to hurt. (CRYSTALS)
So. Where am I starting this project? What work is there to do physically, mentally, spiritually, emotionally, socially?
We’ll start with physically in the next post.